I was thinking today about coffee shops, and how if for some reason the local Starbucks closed down for a day, the number of car accidents could rise due to the increase in mopey hipsters and pissed off already-generally-pissy people whining at every stoplight on their smart phones across various social media about not getting their daily Venti Mocha. Then I got to thinking that if the local Dunkin' Donuts closed down, mysterious homicides might increase because any number of old wiseguys named Vinny and Mickey and Joey and Donnie who start their day at Dunks with black coffee and the Providence Journal could be less likely to show mercy to schmucks owing them money. After thinking these thoughts, I emailed your grandmother, thanking her for our coffee maker.
|Photo from Cuisinart.com. I love this coffee maker because I believe it decreases automobile accidents and saves lives, but I received no money from Cuisinart to say so.|